All You're Ever Gonna Be is Mean

I have been having one of my pensive episodes lately and have been overwhelmed with how different my life is from just a few months ago. I am amazed by where I am at, who I am, the opportunities in front of me, the people I have gained in my life, and I know that I am lucky.

It’s been tough getting to this point, but I feel better than I ever have about myself, my friends, my family, my future.  The hardest lesson, and the most beneficial, has been learning to let go of toxic relationships.   Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, some people are just not meant to be a part of your life.  I struggle with this because I have always believed that people are good and that we all want the same things on a basic human level.  What I realize now is that regardless of this, some people just don’t click, some are too much trouble, and some are just plain mean.  I have chosen to not worry myself with these people and instead put my energy into more fulfilling and mutually respectful relationships.

I no longer mourn these losses; instead I celebrate the relationships I have, the ones that are solid, the ones I can count on, the people I love.  Nothing else matters.  

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me
You, have knocked me off my feet again
Got me feeling like a nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You, picking on the weaker man

Well you can take me down with just one single blow
but you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever going to be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever going to be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?