So, Jessica and I used to have a joke about my ass and how huge it gets when I gain weight. It starts slow, then one day it explodes in a serious way and the ghetto booty is back.
It would be helpful if my coworkers would stop bringing delicious calorie-coated pastries. Try saying no to this, I dare you.
I swear to you, today I am legitimately concerned that sitting down too fast will cause a huge ripping sound and exposure of my Granny Panties. I can’t believe I just ate that donut; I am certainly putting this 4% spandex to the test.