Thursday, October 20, 2011

In a hopless place.


Rihanna’s new video for “We Found Love” (watch it at the bottom of this post) is on the Yahoo! homepage as one of the top stories with the headline “Rihanna’s Upsetting Video”.  I don’t really understand who this is upsetting for. 
The accompanying article by Billy Johnson highlights the similarities between this video and her relationship with Chris Brown.  Obviously the model, with his bleach-blonde hair, bears resemblance to Chris Brown and the scenes of them arguing in the car are reminiscent of their now infamous fight when she was beat up by the bastard.   Johnson says that “it is unfortunate that she continues to exploit a similar storyline of domestic violence.”  Ridiculous. How dare he say that she is exploiting the situation, the very real nightmare that she experienced.  Rihanna owns what happened to her.  She owns the fact that she was a victim of domestic violence.  I can’t imagine going through that in the spotlight.  It is apparent to me that she is still healing and this is part of that process, how she has chosen to share her story. 
The video is fabulous and so beautifully shot.   I am obsessed with the styling.  There is so much passion throughout this video because it is coming from a real place.  The assortment of scenes paints a perfect picture of the beginning highs of love, the addictions, and the downfall of an unstable relationship. 
It used to really upset me that she has voiced some support for Chris Brown.  But I imagine she felt some guilt about his reputation being ruined, that somehow she was partly to blame for that.  One ugly incident can change everything and being hurt by someone you love is incredibly confusing.   You can’t all of a sudden turn off your love for someone, you can’t easily let go of all the good memories.  All of a sudden you are alone and the one person you went to before is the one person you aren’t supposed to go to now.  I don’t think Chris Brown deserves any support from her, but I understand that she’s probably still struggling.
I know some of her fans are confused and upset by this video, but I think it is beautiful.  I think it perfectly illustrates the way that love can start out so promising, so innocent, and turn into something so overwhelming and horrible that it will completely change you.  Not everyone will like it or agree with it, but it is original. She’s not copying dance moves and other video concepts (I’m looking at you Beyonce) she is giving us a rare and raw insight into her journey. 
I love the song so much, the feeling it gives me, the bittersweet taste.  The lyrics “we found love in a hopeless place” is the most amazing way to describe that kind of relationship.  Unstable, emotional, dark, hopeless …but still two people found light from each other for a short time.  Love is beautiful, even when it’s not meant to last; there are moments of connection and passion that break through the darkness.  For two people in a hopeless place, those moments become everything. 
Part of me really wanted Rihanna to bash Chris Brown in public, to be this man-hating tough woman, but I think I get it now.  I get that she has been real, that she has struggled, that she hasn’t given us any lip service just to make us feel better that she was attacked and beaten down by a man she had given her heart to.  If you don’t like it, you don’t have to.  If you don’t get it, it’s probably because you’ve never been there. 


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