So, Jessica and I used to have a joke about my ass and how huge it gets when I gain weight. It starts slow, then one day it explodes in a serious way and the ghetto booty is back.
It would be helpful if my coworkers would stop bringing delicious calorie-coated pastries. Try saying no to this, I dare you.
I swear to you, today I am legitimately concerned that sitting down too fast will cause a huge ripping sound and exposure of my Granny Panties. I can’t believe I just ate that donut; I am certainly putting this 4% spandex to the test.
Luckily, if I do rip my pants at work I have backup. Another benefit of working at a hospital, there are scrubs in the supply room that I could change into and it would look completely normal in this environment. Except that everyone knows if you show up in your normal clothes and end up in the teal scrubs you had period problems.
This might cement my Nicki Minaj costume option in first place for Halloween.
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