Blurbles! 7-27

BLURBLES are some of my random thoughts.  Not thought out enough to really write about, but nonetheless worthy of a mention. 

1. I used to really love JLO…Jenny from the Block, Bennifer.  I was all over that.  Then she disappeared for a while which was fine, had her little babies, and then tried to put out an album that no one cared about.  Then BAM! American Idol comes along and everyone loves her again.  This annoys me.  Probably because American Idol really annoys me and I think it’s pathetic that it made her relevant again.  But regardless of my feelings about the show it is undeniable that it completely brought her back into the spotlight.  Now all of a sudden her album, which no one would invest in before, is released and becomes a hit. This did not make me love her again.  I cannot listen to that piece of shit song and I prefer Jennifer Lopez’s Ass on the movie screen not in music videos. But her divorcing Mark Anthony?  That did it.  I love her again.  JLo is back y’all!  That guy is such a creepy little skeezball, always has been.  I don’t know what she saw in him in the first place, but who am I to talk?  I’ve had my fair share of skeezballs.  It’s just great to see her confident and happy.  Sometimes I can’t wait to be older, to be in my 30’s and have my shit together and have that confidence.  Look at her confidence, look how beautiful it makes her.  I want that.  Except she is actually 42 and I don’t want that.

2. My ankles constantly pop when I walk.  Seriously, I sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies coming down the hallway.  This worries me for two reasons.  First, I wonder if something is wrong with those bones. I had a stress fracture in my foot when I was 13, something my doctor told me usually only happened to “post-menopausal old ladies” Thanks, doc.  So now, when I actually am an old lady are my ankles just going to collapse under me with all that cracking and popping?  More importantly than my elderly demise though, I worry that this will hamper my spy career.  How am I supposed to lurk through dark hallways in my night vision goggles with my ankles giving me away at every step? How am I supposed to sneak up on evil bad men to assassinate them if they can hear my ankles snapping behind them before I try snapping their neck?   Is there something that can be done about this, should I be concerned? It’s constant! Like almost every step.     

3. In our hostel in Dublin we could hear all the drunks in the alley below us.  Apparently drunk people love to sing no matter what country they come from.  Loud, terrible, slurring the wrong lyrics kind of singing=universal. But suddenly the off-key songs turned into some Irish man yelling about another man after a close call with his fist.  Lying on my springy mattress on the top bunk I heard from outside “He’s a fuckin’ asshole! He’s a fucking wanker!”  This caused me to go into a silent giggle fit as I tried to enjoy the show without waking up my hostelmates.  Have you ever had a silent giggle fit? It takes talent, I’m just saying.  But seriously, wanker…that word cracks me up.  Not to mention hearing an angry wanker/asshole rant shouted out in the glory of an Irish accent.  What I love most is that wanker is a pretty naughty word over there.  We don’t have a whole lot of feeling for the word in America, but man, if you want to insult someone in Ireland just call him a wanker.  Do it!  It reminds me of when I was little and my sisters and I made up code words for things we weren’t allowed to say.  Mickey Mouse was “moron” and Donald Duck was “dork” we also had a word for “shut up” but it escapes me, which is weird because that is probably the one they used most on me.  Only instead of them holding their intended sting it became funny, mostly because my mom stood there confused as to why it made us laugh so much to call each other Disney character names.  We totally effed up the system.  But it’s kind of like wanker.  I know it’s supposed to be bad, but it just makes me giggle.