Full Disclosure

Working at a hospital, I know the importance of patient confidentiality.  We take great care to ensure that your medical records and information is kept secure and shared only with employees involved in your direct care.  In the waiting room I notice that some parents are sharers, they like to tell anyone who will listen all about theirs and their children’s medical issues.  Sometimes it is really great to see them bond with the other parents, unless they are obnoxious over sharers talking about their child’s poop.  Other parents are more private and hesitant to open up about their medical situations and reasonably so. 

I understand being private about medical issues; they are personal and may be embarrassing to talk about.  It is outside of some people’s comfort zones.  But I grew up hearing my mom’s nursing stories and have always been interested in the medical field.  I love reading and talking about medical disorders and how the body works and heals; the human body is eternally fascinating.  Plus, I am probably a bit desensitized from working in healthcare. 

Some people think that it is invasive to ask questions such as “Have you ever had any surgeries?”, “What’s that scar from?”, or “Are you circumcised?”  I am pretty open with my medical history, so these things don’t bother me.  And if you are wondering, I am not circumcised. 

I am not the healthiest girl in the world.  If you know me, this is obvious.  At eighteen years old I developed some heart problems followed by three surgeries.  It has put me in the hospital several times, most recently in May when I got put back on a medication after being without it for three years.  The medicine I am on has zero negative side effects and is helping a lot.  For the most part I feel like I am done with the drama Ventricular Tachycardia once brought into my life: EKGs, Holter monitors, Echocardiograms, an assortment of drugs, surgeries, hospitals.  Still, there are days that I can feel the palpitations more than others.  They are mostly irritating but sometimes they make me really tired and nauseous.

My heart problem is something that comes up pretty quickly when I start spending time with someone; mostly because it was a struggle in the past and it defined a big part of my college years, but also because it still affects a lot of aspects of my life today.  I don’t drink coffee and try to stay away from soda because the caffeine makes my palpitations act up (I am working on my Diet Coke addiction).  I rarely drink alcohol because the next day my heart will be a mess.  Occasionally, I need to take a day to rest.  Wherever my life takes me, it will have to include health insurance, and I can’t be a bone marrow donor, or fly helicopters, or be in the Peace Corps.  All things I can deal with, but surprisingly, all things that have been an issue for me.  I never thought anything of telling this to a guy until one of my college classmates was talking to me about his girlfriend and whether or not he wanted to marry her.  He had the normal guy concerns about commitment and responsibilities, but he said one thing that really stunned me.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to marry her because of her health.  I thought for sure she had some life-threatening or debilitating disease that made him nervous to make a lifetime commitment.  Her ailment? Allergies.  To be fair, he said she was allergic to some wacky stuff but still….allergies? A DealBreaker?  That means I’m toast.

How much information do you give someone when you first start dating?  When do all these allergy skeletons get to come out of the closet? 

M told me he threw up right before he met me for our first date.  I still kissed him.  Maybe I am gross, but I thought it was pretty romantic that a guy balled up in the fetal position 30 minutes prior still got his ass up and dressed, brushed his teeth (I hope), and got on the subway with that terrible stomach just to meet me. 

What kind of medical ailment would it take to scare you away from someone you are dating? I mean, obviously crabs and sores are out.  Anything genital/infectious is a DealBreaker. 

Sometimes, because I have a vivid and terrible imagination, I have thought about what would happen if a lover was paralyzed in a freak unicycling accident or his face is mauled by an angry rhino.  Would I be that angel of a girlfriend who helps nurse him and wipes his ass? Or would I be the M.I.A. girlfriend and create a new life for myself on some tropical island where him and his wheelchair will never find me?  That’s horrible, I know.  And I think I would be the first girlfriend if I loved the person.  Knock on wood that I never have to discover how shallow or deep my love runs. 

As far as my heart, it’s not perfect, but I kind of love that.  I have awareness about my heart that few people have.  I am so in tune to its beat and its irregularities.  It tells me when I need to relax, when I need more water, when I need to rest.  I hope that I crossed the biggest hurdles seven years and that it’s smooth sailing from here.  Just in case, my suitors should know that I have a great life insurance plan.